I read an interesting blog post today about parenting. The writer asserted that parents use the saying “parenting is hard” as a cop-out that allows them to yell, hit, grab, drag, etc their kids. She went on to say that those behaviours are NEVER appropriate and you should always be able to handle your kids without basically ever raising your voice to them.
I kinda wish I could say that I do that…..but I would be lying. I don’t yell all the time but I do yell. In fact, I may have written this on Facebook earlier this week:
I only had one nerve left & Evan is on it. He got mad at the mall so I ended up dragging him out kicking & screaming. I may be (as my daddy would say) “paying for my raising”.
It was not my finest moment. Evan was mad because I wanted him to blow his nose. He wanted to stick a wad of toilet paper up his nostril and walk around like that. Um…no. He decided that his way to combat my request was to yell at me in a not very nice voice and throw himself to the floor. He’s gotten quite a bit heavier lately, so I can’t really carry him when he’s thrashing about without dropping him on his head. So…I held his hand and headed for the door. He then dropped to the floor and refused to walk. I *may* have drug him a few feet before begging him to walk, then picking him up, then putting him down, then walking, dragging, begging, rinse, repeat.
Finally, I had enough and I dropped his hand and walked off saying “Bye” over my shoulder. Don’t worry….I knew where he was at all times. The wailing was so loud that everyone in the mall knew where he was. He then chased after me. We got to the doors and I said “It’s really cold outside so we should put on your coat.” Screams of “No” and a collapse onto the floor was what I got. So I went through the first set of doors. He followed & still refused to put on his coat. I said “Fine…guess you’ll be cold”. We made it to the car, where he then demanded that I take him back to the doors and let him walk to the car. Um…no.
We finally made it home….me the frazzled mother and Evan the sad boy who really didn’t want to leave the mall. I truly think he learned that he can’t push me around by yelling and throwing a fit. Now…if the blogger were there what would she have done? I tried talking to him on his level and explaining that the behaviour was inappropriate. IT DIDN’T WORK and we were at the mall disturbing hundreds of people (he was REALLY loud). I was NOT going to give in because I really do not want to make him think that behaviour gets him what he wants.
So…I won’t use “Parenting is hard” as a cop-out but dammit…parenting IS hard even though it is the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done! I love my little mop top!